Hello, good evening, welcome...

My hope for this (sporadic) blog is that  I will be able to  catalogue some of the trials, tribulations and occasional triumphs of being a carer.

There are estimated to be between 4 and 6 million carers in the UK, unless you claim carers allowance you are unlikely to be included in any official statistics. The chances of one of you becoming a carer in one capacity or another (if you have not done this already) are quite high. If my words provide any help to any of you at any time I'd be really pleased, there is so very much that I wish we had known before.

You generally become a carer by accident, for some folks it is as a direct result of an illness being diagnosed and you have some preparation time for the experience ahead. For many, especially those caring for elderly parents, it happens insidiously. You wake up one morning and realise that the previous day you made phone calls on behalf of another person, made them tea, collected their prescriptions, did some shopping for them and worried about them when you popped out, oh blimey that sort of makes me a carer doesn't it?

More of this later...

I should perhaps explain the title and our situation for those that do not have the full picture.
My husband and I care for his parents. His mother (we'll call her X) has Vascular Parkinson's Disease and Osteoarthritis of the spine. His father (we'll call him Y) has Vascular Dementia. Both are now in their 80's and utterly dependent on us for their health and welfare. We also run our own business and juggling these demands has at times been extremely stressful.

We are the sort of people who like to dig our holes with our own spades at our own pace and in our own style so this situation is pretty uncomfortable for us. We have taken responsibility for them, their home, their garden and to be honest, their mess.

"We wouldn't have started from here" has become a kind of mantra/short cut for us to describe how we feel about where we are. We have applied it to  social services, X and Y's attitude towards their illness and ageing, the NHS, the state of the house and garden and many other things

I'd like to help some of you start from a place that is at least partially of your own choosing.