Well it's been a while....

I make no apologies, but I will explain.

Caring is in the most part, very dull and monotonous with the occasional and unexpected high drama.  X and Y continue their slow, sad and inevitable decline, drugs are administered, food is cooked and we protect them as best we can.

The only recent high drama occurred ironically on Father's day when we were alerted at just gone 6am that something was amiss downstairs. In a somewhat bleary state we discover Y on the floor collapsed covered in well.... I'll leave that to your imagination. Y was showered, floors shampooed and disinfected and clothes were washed. The disposable aprons, thick gloves, overshoes and industrial quantities of disinfectant turned this into an almost professional operation. The day was less than celebratory but once we had rehydrated him and given a small pharmacy of Loperamide all was stable again.

It's the uncertainty of when this will occur than can really get to you if you are not looking for it. We are determined to make it through this with our sanity intact so always talk about each incident, letting our frustrations and feelings come into the open. We have had to accept that  attending an event may not happen, that ticket, party or wedding invitation may well go unused. You can prevent that crashing disappointment by working from the perspective that you probably will not be able to go. If you do get to go it's a huge bonus.

I should also mention something common to many carers, spontaneity all but disappears. That quick trip to the shops or beach or cinema is off the cards. Leaving the house becomes a military operation, drugs have to be made up and laid out, food and flasks prepared, panic buttons installed and house locked down.  If the people you are caring for are prepared to have sitters then these sometimes have to be booked a week in advance. Some days you just can't be bothered!

You learn to take your enjoyment quite seriously. Laughing when you can, delighting in the company of good friends and treasuring a walk on the beach.  Parties, gigs and days out become real events that you talk over for days after.


Once again I have to advise that no-one takes on this role with their eyes closed to the changes that will occur in your own life. And, no it is nothing like having children! Kids are mostly fun, you get to watch them grow up, you take photos of them and enjoy their company. Caring is an altogether more serious business (most of the time).