LPA's one of our occasional triumphs

 Persuading X and Y that Creating LPA's (Lasting Powers of Attorney) was a good idea transpired to be one of our better decisions.

In short, an LPA is a legal document that allows the  nomination of a  person or persons that you trust to manage your health and/or financial matters for you should you become incapable.

If you should lose your mental capacity temporarily or permanently even your spouse has no legal right to take part in decisions about your medical welfare. If they want to manage your finances they have to jump through some fairly large legal hoops. So even if you are in good health and relatively young it is still a rather sensible thing to do. After all you may be run over by the ubiquitous bus.

For those who are likely to lose the ability to physically and/or mentally manage their affairs through ill health or old age this comes highly recommended. Just don't leave it too late, we nearly did.

For us, the effect of having the power of attorney  has been profound. As X can no longer write cheques and Y loses all understanding of money we have still been able to ensure that the bills have been paid and that we can buy things they need to give them physical comfort. For example, specialist furniture, appropriate wheelchair  and drinking cups that are not available to them from the state. 

When dealing with the medical profession letting them know that an LPA is in place can at times have dramatic effect. Some medical staff are reluctant to discuss a patients condition for fear of breaching data protection/patient confidentiality codes. This is all very well but often we have a more comprehensive knowledge of their recent medical history, mental capacity and medication than any of the doctors and nurses.

Given that Y has dementia I would say that our inclusion in the discussions about treatment and care was fairly essential. Where we have met with staff whose arrogance/jobs worth attitude has excluded us from any discussion or decisions we have  dropped the LPA into the conversation and attitudes suddenly mellow. Someone who has not met Y before may not necessarily know what is in his and the whole families best interests, I would like to hope that we do. We have seen medical professionals ask him direct questions to which he will just reply with the first thing that comes into his head. He cannot remember what happened 5 minutes ago so it's pretty pointless asking him if  he's had any pain in the last week. This has happened on several occasions and our disbelief was just as profound each time.

An example...

Last year Y fainted at home, the ambulance was duly called and he was taken to casualty for the once over. My husband followed and sat with him  helping to  fill in the  'gaps'. It became apparent that there was nothing seriously wrong with Y and given that it was his birthday the next day, it seemed appropriate that he come home. However, the medical establishment were working with a series of prescriptive  protocols and wanted to keep him in for 'tests'. A long discussion with the registrar ensued my husband explaining that under that it was Y's birthday the next day, that he helped to care for his wife and that there were two other fairly fit adults in the house  so surely he could come home. She was reluctant to bend the rules and probably the instructions of her senior. It wasn't until the fact of the LPA was thrown in to the conversation that the atmosphere changed. Suddenly their legal liabilities could be transferred and my husband was able to 'spring him' from the hospital by signing the discharge document. Y came home and was fine and enjoyed another birthday with his wife of 60 years.

So, if you think this is for you there are two options.
1. Go see a solicitor, they will go through the forms with you and witness them and send them off. They usually do this for a flat fee and they do make it straight forward.

2. DIY! This is the option we chose, mainly because we are cheap, we like a challenge and sometimes it's good to understand the law.
You will need a set of forms for each person, there are separate forms for health/welfare and for finance. The forms can be obtained here
http://www.justice.gov.uk/global/forms/opg/lasting-power-of-attorney/index.htm
you can download them but there is masses to print and ordering the paper copies with the guidance notes is actually easier.
Don't be daunted when the postman delivers a veritable slab of paper, just read the notes carefully and work through them. You'll need to find witnesses who have know the person the LPA will apply to for at least 4 years (I think).

Whichever option you choose  think carefully about who will share these responsibilities. You can have as many attorneys as you wish and divide the powers between them .

It may give you a chance to discuss some rather delicate and  uncomfortable issues but this may be the only opportunity you get to ensure that your wishes are carried out. If you were in a coma how would you want to be treated? Do you want your organs donated? In the event that something terrible happens do you wish to be resuscitated? Appointing an attorney may be the only way a person outside the medical profession that may have a say in this.

Without an LPA your spouse may have to get a court order to access your bank account, pay the gas bill or even the mortgage. It really is that important. Getting access to your spouses affairs may be complex but getting access to those of your parents is fraught with even greater problems.

We will certainly be drawing up our own LPA's at some stage. As a relative these simple documents really can make a stressful situation just a little easier.